The Birthday Gift
Hanging in my wardrobe
Is a dress, dream come true
It’s just the thing I wanted
All these years through.
It’s dress bought
With tons of love
From many miles,
It’s not the money
Which went in it but
The joy, the pleasure
And the smiles
I wore it for a short while,
Touching it with love and care,
But soon hung it back in a cupboard
For I didn’t want to be tempted
To wear. “cause it’s my…
“Birthday Gift”, which is just a..
Few months away.
But I do often want to see it
And make sure it’s there.
For it’s not really just a dress
It’s a whole lot more. The love,
The care, the sentiments, and
The devotion all speak through it.
Just to say…
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU”.
~This poem was wrote by Gitanjali…A young girl who died of cancer at the age of sixteen…this is not her only poem…All her poems been compiled,printed and published; “The poems of Gitanjali”..I found the copy from a secondhand bookstore at chowrasta bazaar,
- Still in school (SPM)
- Playing netball a lot!
- Hangout with friends a lot too..
- Hangat2 taik ayamJ
- If I’m excited about something…I wont think anything else..
- 24/7 infront of my laptop(surfin internet la eventhough dh tkde ape nk surf)
- Sri Iskandar
- manusia seconhand
I've been tagged:)..
Shoe size: 6 and 7
Where do you live: Tronoh Perak
Have you ever been on a plane: yesJ.
Swam in the ocean: erm let me recall..aha yes a week after I quit my job..went for short a vacation to pangkor with amiJ
Fallen asleep at school: yeah of course
Broken someone’s heart: ahahahaa yeah so so many time as much as others broke my heart hmm
Fell off your chair: ada kot:P..
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call:hmm ade…end up the person never call..isk
Saved e-mails: yup..from a special person..
What is your room like: mcm tongkang pecah:D
What’s right beside you:erm let me see..my mouse..handphone..my colorsplash:P..
What is the last thing you ate: last night…nasi berlaukkan ayam masak merah:D
Chicken pox: when i was ten years old..
Sore throat: hah ader kadang2
Stitches: yeah ada…my ankle
Broken nose: never
Do you believe in love at first sight: ermm…50% yes 50% nope..
Like picnics: yeah very much
Who was/were…The last person you danced with: when I’m in kindergarden St Ronan Jalan Pahang..with my first crush Jason namer die:P
Last made you smile: When I’ve been tagged by [sexyinred]
You last yelled at: To my cat sumi…dh besar pon nk menyusu lagi..
Today did you…
Talked to someone you like: yesJ…ami..talk on the phone je..
Kissed anyone: Do cats count?ahahaha yes sumi..its a dry kiss ok..
Get sick: yes heart sick been torn boleh tak?:P
Talk to an ex: I wish I could..but I’m not going to talk la..but going to smack the person…ahaahaha
Miss someone:Erm of course:D
Who do you really hate: exes!
Do you like your hand-writing: hate it very much..mcm budak tadika punyer handwriting
Are your toe nails painted: nope
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: nobody
What color shirt are you wearing now: red!
Are you a friendly person: I don’t know yer and tak..ahahaha
Do you have any pets: yes cats..sumi..putih…mona..noni..comot..ibu kucing..
Do you sleep with the TV on: yes..everyday
What are you doing right now: Bloggin' and watching tv
Can you handle the truth: depends wht kind of truth…if about death erm I guess I can’t handle anymore death in my live kot..cukupla 2…
Are you closer to your mother or father: nope
Do you eat healthy: yeahJ
Do you still have pictures of you and your ex: TAKDE!
If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to: sleeping and eating a lot!
Are you loud or quiet most of the time: quiet
Are you confident: sometime..depends on situation jugak…
5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Buy all lomo cameras of course ehehehehe..yang lain mcm biase lah beli rumah..bwk mak ayah sumer g haji…etc
5 of my bad habits:
5 places I’ve lived/living:
(for the past 5 years)
Seek Not My Heart
|by Kit McCallum|
|Oh gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies,|
Do not you hear my heartfelt cries?
Below the branches, here about,
Do not you sense my fear and doubt?
Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
Do not you hear my woeful screams?
Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
Do not you see my hearts a'skew?
Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
Do not you feel my jagged scars?
Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze,
For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees.
It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies,
Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
It's drifting o're the gentle rain,
A symbol of my silent pain.
It's buried 'neath the meadow fair,
Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
It's lost among the stars this night,
Too far to ease my quiet fright.
No gentle winds, seek not my heart,
For simply ... it has torn apart.
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
- e. e. cummings ~
My heart melt everytime i read this poem...
Dia tenung, dia kenang dan dia impikan…
Kehidupan lebih baik..masa sudah suntuk…
Kebahagiaan dan kesedihan datang dan pergi…
Dia mahu hidup lebih tenang..dia mahu hidup lebih bahagia…
Pada Tuhan dia meminta.. pada Tuhan dia menyerah…
Aku mahu tenang..aku mahu bahagia…
Buangkan segala kesedihan..buangkan segala kesakitan…
Aku mahu hidup..sedikit masa lagi…
Datangkan aku kebahagiaan..ketenangan itu..
Siti Hajar Mad Isa
Seorang isteri..ibu..nenek dan moyang..
Penghidap barah payudara…
Masih berjuang untuk terus hidup…
What would you answer when somebody ask you the question of ‘what do you want?’
I will answer that ‘I want what I want’. How many of us want what we want... what we really want. Some of us or actually many of us will want what other people want us to want. I haven’t come to the question of what are we doing now. Are we doing what we want? Are we doing what other people want us to do? Is it really bad... the things what we want that we cannot do what we wanted to? Is what other people thinks good for us is really good for us to want and to do.
Today I walked by a store and I had a glance of a shoe that I really had a crush on. Come on.. don’t tell me you had never been in this situation. Its not just a shoe, it’s a green shoe.. not very dark and not very light coloured. It’s a beautiful green coloured shoe. Feeling tempted.. I walk to the store.. to the rack and hold it for a while. I didn’t try the green shoe.. instead I tried the one next to it of the brown color of the same design cause in a blink, my mind is telling me my dark skin wont fit the green shoe. I have always had browns. A major portion of my stuffs in my closet are browns. It always fit me best. I had it on my foot.. and damn it looks good on me and it feels good to my skin. I had a smile on my lips.. I put it back on the rack, and I walk away. Of course I didn’t buy it.. its not the one that I’ve crushed on. That is a sample a minor incident that I have in my life or maybe in our life (if you ever experience of same meaning)that actually portray a major ‘me’.. a totally ‘you’ maybe. To summarize is actually I don’t wear what I want.. I wear what fits me best.
Shall I prolonged this example. A major example in my life. I had a crush with this guy. I kinda fancy him for everything him. His bad side.. his good.. whatever visible of him to me. This adoration discovered to be a two way and soon we end up having a relationship. I fancy him still during that time. But somehow we didn’t really fit each other. Wearing me, he looks bad. He even feels bad. And so they tell me. And so it really feels true; what they tell me with their words, in their looks. So I left him so that he could wear someone that looks and feels good with him. So what happens? He is the green shoe that I could have bought this evening... but I don’t.
What happens further in life?
Fairy tale: I will forget what I think that maybe looks bad on me. My heart is what matters. I will go back to the store and just buy the shoe I want. I should just try to do what I could and I actually for all this while could be the one that fits this guy. I could be the one he is comfortable to be with. And I live happily and satisfied.
Real life: I will forget what I think that maybe by wearing this green color looks bad on me. Oh for god sake just buy it! I will go back to the store and I saw this girl is trying the shoe on her foot. The brown one that I tried. And even the brown one looks crazy good on her, far better than mine in it. to compare with mine, it is probably with the much more lovely shape of foot she had, with the finer skin tone and really think the shoe should be praying for her to buy it before I did. My step halted; maybe what I did wasn’t so bad. What I left behind might be just right for the shoe or for him to be. Lets look on the bright side.. if I let them be.. I need’nt be so inferior myself. The shoe don’t speak visually that it looks good on me, it even looks much better on her. It looks better on someone else’s. The guy don’t defend me either.. sadly. Maybe I’m not worth defended. He looks much better with someone else. Fuck em! really.. what the heck.. lets go to another store and find myself a flip flop!
If you find yourself this morning, this noon or this evening... whenever that time is. Wondering... what have you chose for yourself all this while? Has it been worthwhile or has it been what it should best be...
If you find yourself hard to answer...
I am asking you again... what would you do? Or at least.. what would you wanted to do (even if you don’t have the courage..)
what am I bluffing J